Theories abound, speculating on the psychological aspects of relationships, one of the most popular being Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love. A psychologist proposed that interpersonal love comprises intimacy, passion, and commitment. Each element combines in a specific way to form the basis of a particular kind of love.
The first element, intimacy, is driven by emotion and involves high trust between two people. The second element, passion, deals with lust or sexual attraction and is considered fleeting. Finally, the third element of commitment is considered, classified as a conscious effort to maintain a relationship.
Now onto the theory itself; as its name suggests, each of these three elements is pictured as a point on a triangle. Now imagine that each of the three points was pulling away from the other two, constantly trying to warp the perfect triangle.
Sternberg believed that if all three elements of the triangle are of equal measure, then the love bond is strong. But if the triangle displays unequal sides, the relationship is either poor or falls into a specific category besides the ideal.
Do you think that falling in love is something uncontrollable? Do you think you can’t make the person you love lose in love with you, too? If you currently love someone, then there must have been a few things that made you like that person, and just like something that made you love him, you, too, can do a few things to make him love you back.
Research has shown that love never happens before attraction occurs. Research has also found that men are attracted to beautiful women while women are attracted to resourceful men. It doesn’t mean that you have to be a beautiful woman or a rich man to find love, but it just means that you need to manipulate a few factors to appear more attractive and resourceful so that people love you.
Why Do We Fall In Love
Our instincts lie dormant within each of us, and when we fall in love, we feel an awakening. We yearn to bond with that person and make a strong connection. We all store specific criteria about the person we want to fall in love with. When we meet someone new, we check this criterion subconsciously in our minds. For instance, we may visualize a well-qualified redhead with the same interests as us. You may want her to be positive and confident about things.
Once you encounter someone like that, you know that this is the girl you have been waiting for, even though you are not ready to be in a relationship. We live healthier and more satisfying life when we are involved in a relationship.
Is it possible to fall in love instantly?
Yes. If you have mentally formed a picture of the type of girl you would like to fall in love with, you will know when you meet her that she is the one for you. That is because you have formed a mental picture of a beautiful girl, and she fits the bill. You will automatically be attracted to her and her to you. Take advantage of the opportunity and move forward, or you may miss the boat.
Reasons to Remember Psychology of Love and Attraction
There are evolutionary reasons why one person is considered more attractive than others. The traditional explanation is that men are usually regarded as beautiful when they have power, wealth, and social status, and women are judged based on their looks, representing fertility.
It is because she is the one who gives birth to the progeny, and he is the one who provides for them. However, with changes in social structure and men and women taking up similar roles, in the future, women and men could be equally judged in terms of looks, youth, fertility or social status, success, wealth, etc.
Younger women may get attracted to older men, and vice versa as also older women get attracted to younger men and vice versa, and this can be explained by the Oedipus and Electra complex in Freudian and Jungian psychoanalysis that explains why young men can fall in love with mother figures and young women idolize father figures. Men who are highly attached to their mothers may show dependence on mature females and harbor some fascination for married women in some cases.
Women who have faced molestation or abuse at a younger age from male members may develop intense attraction or repulsion for similar men later in life. In some cases, young men and women can create an attraction for people who are similar to celebrities/ famous people of their choice.
Sometimes these are not such constructive forms of attraction and may not lead to real love or lasting relationships. So these are best psychoanalyzed and understood so that such feelings of lust could be channeled towards other directions.